That comment drew Laura’s attention and she craned her neck to see the picture Adrianna was holding up for the silver-haired woman seated beside her. She felt a slight yearning in her chest as she saw the happiness on their faces, then scolded herself. Of course the picture was happy, no one carried around pictures of themselves scowling. “He’s beautiful,” Laura said when Adrianna looked back and smiled at her. The comment could have applied equally well to the husband or baby, but it was the baby Laura’s finger ached to touch.
“What are you typing on back there?” Adrianna asked.
Laura closed the message and passed up her PDA and detachable keyboard. “It’s my electronic brain. I swear I’d never be able to keep track of things without it.”
Adrianna looked at it and clicked through a few menus. “My husband has something similar, but I’ve never been able to run the thing. Oooh, you have Solitaire on here.”
Not bothering to hold back a grin, Laura allowed Adrianna to play a game. “Mind if I take a closer look at your pictures? Where was that taken anyway?”
“My parents have this waterfall and pond in their back yard. It’s perfect for pictures.” Adrianna handed back her wallet and flipped to the next picture, which showed Adrianna, her husband and son all posed in front of the waterfall.
“That’s beautiful, they must really enjoy it.” Laura glanced up as the bus swerved slightly and again hoped all would be well. There was an unusually large number of cars on the road tonight, a fact she couldn’t miss as the driver was sitting directly in front of Adrianna’s seat. She glanced back at the picture and studied the family. She knew from asking earlier in the trip that Adrianna was two years younger than herself, that she had been married a couple years, her baby—Aiden was it?—was just past his first birthday, and if a glance at the woman in front of her wasn’t enough, studying the picture showed just how much she looked like Adrianna.
It wasn’t just in dark hair and eyes, height and build, but their faces were very similar. They both had oval faces with high cheekbones and rounded noses, those Adrianna’s was slightly thinner. Their eyes were dark brown, and both wore their hair long, though Laura’s was down to her waist, while Adrianna’s was only to her shoulder blades. It was no wonder they had been mistaken for each other throughout the Relief Society temple trip to St. Louis their stake had arranged. The only noticeable feature that differed for them was the scar that ran down the underside of Laura’s right jaw—a remnant of Little League softball games.
Laura looked up when the woman seated next to Adrianna turned the light off over their seats. Her gaze was drawn out the window when something large and dark flipped in front of a pair of headlights, and she felt her fingers grasp tightly to the wallet in her hand as the bus driver called out for everyone to brace themselves.
She clenched her eyes as the SUV that had been heading south-bound in the other freeway lanes slammed into the charter bus. As she was thrown from her seat, she heard the sounds of metal ripping, windows exploding and screaming women before all went blank.
*****
Machines beeped around her and light speared through the slits in her eyes as she tried to open them. Her whole body ached, her hands felt heavy, and there was something on her face making a hissing noise. She shifted a shoulder and moaned at the jolt of pain that shot through her.
“Adrianna, come on honey, wake up. We’ve been waiting for you to quit lazing about for ages.” The woman’s voice was young and gave off the impression that she was teasing, despite the emotion in it. Her grip was tight and she gave the invalid’s arm a slight shake.
Blinking her eyes and trying to adjust to the light, Adrianna—that must be her name, as the woman seemed to be speaking to her—peered around the room. Her eyes were gritty, but though she couldn’t remember how she got there, or why, she could tell it was a hospital room. If the way she felt was any indication, there must have been good reason for her to be there.
She tried wetting her lips, but her mouth was dry. Turning, she focused in on the woman hovering over her, who had reached over her head to touch something. A voice coming from a speaker above Adrianna’s head startled her. “Can we help you with anything?”
“She’s awake. You said to let you know if she woke up,” the woman by the bedside said.
“Yes, thank you. We’ll send someone right in.”
The woman looked back down at her, tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. “Jacob is going to be so disappointed he wasn’t in the room when you woke up. He’s barely left your side since the accident, and he needed to clean up and check on Aiden. You’ve been in a coma for ten days.”
Searching her fuzzy memory, Adrianna couldn’t remember anyone by the name of Jacob, or Aiden for that matter. Before she could ask, a nurse walked in and started poking and prodding her, asking her to move her hands and feet, to squeeze the nurse’s hands, and then the woman gave her something for the increasing pain.
Before Adrianna had time to ask any questions, she was slipping back into sleep.
*****
When she woke again, there was a man by her side. Tall, dark, and handsome, Adrianna thought, but completely unfamiliar, despite the fact he was holding her hand. She felt a little stronger this time, though she still couldn’t remember what happened. She moved to pull her hand from the stranger’s grip, but the movement called his attention to her.
“Hey, baby, how are you feeling?”
It took two tries to make her vocal chords work at all, and when she did, they ached and her voice sounded like sand paper. “Awful. Water?”
“Of course, I’ll see if I can give you some. Just a moment.” He feather his fingers down her cheek, as if afraid he might hurt her, then leaned in to press a gentle kiss to her forehead—from the feel of it, her forehead was nearly the only exposed skin on her face. “I’ll be right back.”
Again, a nurse bustled in and asked questions, poked and prodded and adjusted her IV drip. “Can you tell me what happened to you?” the blonde woman asked.
“No,” she shook her head. “I don’t remember anything.”
“Can you tell me your name?”
What had that woman called the before? “Um, Adrianna?”
“Adrianna-what?”
She shook her head again. “I don’t remember. The woman earlier, she called me Adrianna. I think. Maybe it was Arianna, or Brianna?” Her voice still felt scratchy and it hurt to talk. Instead of speaking anymore, she chose to shrug—which sent pain shooting through her shoulder. She felt helpless.
“Can you tell me what month it is?”
“No.” Adrianna looked out the window to see a few leaves beginning to turn yellow on the tree outside. “Looks like autumn.”
“What about the President of the United States?”
That one she could answer, and judging from the look on the man’s face beside her, she must have guessed right. Several more questions followed, most of which she didn’t have the answers to, but she did know money was green and she lived in Kansas. Somehow, she didn’t think those were noteworthy accomplishments.
By the time the woman left, Adrianna was feeling drained and ready for another nap, but the man was at her side again.
“Aiden’s been asking for you. It’s been so scary, not knowing if or when you’d wake up and how it would affect you.” He held her hand in his, threading their fingers together. He ran his free hand over the back of hers, sliding his fingers across her wrist, fingers, hand and lower arm, as if he couldn’t stop touching, reassuring himself that she was really there and awake.
When a search of her rather blank mind turned up nothing, she looked up at the man whose deeply tanned face looked tired and held deep worry lines, despite the fact that he couldn’t be older than late twenties, if that. “I’m sorry,” she paused to clear her throat, which still hurt like the dickens.
“I don’t know who you are.”
His hands stilled on hers and he let out a low breath. When he spoke, his words were halting, as if it hurt to speak them. “They warned there might be short-term memory loss. I hoped . . . .well, I’m your husband, and Aiden—he’s our son.” His voice broke and he swallowed, his eyes glistened with tears that didn’t fall. “I don’t know how I’d go on without you, Adie. I really don’t.” He closed his eyes and his lips pressed together. “I love you. I’ll help you remember.”
Adrianna felt helpless in the face of his pain. What was she supposed to do or say? ‘I’m sorry’ seemed terribly inadequate. She frantically tried to find any reference to the man in her mind. She wished she could take away the pain she saw on his face. How long would it last, and would anything feel right again? These questions plagued her as she closed her eyes and sank back into darkness.
*****
When she woke again, she learned it had been a day and a half since she first woke. Doctor Fines entered shortly after Adrianna finished the light lunch the orderly had brought to her.
“How are we today?” the doctor asked as she looked over the vitals the nurses had noted on every trip to the room.
“Fine,” Adrianna said, her voice still raspy. “If you forget about the fact that I ache all over, it hurts to talk, I seem to have lost most of my hair and don’t remember anything.” She tried for a wry smile, but she wasn’t sure she succeeded. Just sitting up long enough to eat had taken a lot out of her. At least they had switched to one of those nose oxygenators instead of the face mask she had on the first time she awoke.
“How bad is the pain on a scale of 1 to 10 with ten being the worst you’ve ever felt?”
“I don’t remember feeling pain before.”
He chuckled. “All right, let’s try the worst you can imagine then.”
“About a three, and then only when I move around. It’s worse without the painkillers.”
Dr. Fines smiled. “Yes. You let me know if the aching grows worse, and we’ll up your dosage, but you’re probably at a good level now, considering how hurt you were. The sore throat was caused by the trauma of the accident, as well as the tube they put in your throat to keep your airway open.”
“Then I guess I should thank someone for giving me this throat ache.” She smiled and touched the shorn ends of her hair, cut almost to the top of her neck. The ends were uneven. Moving her arm to that position was like trying to move it through molasses. She figured the latest dosage of pain medication must be working. “My hair?”
“Was it long before?”
“I don’t remember much. I think I wore it pretty long. It doesn’t feel much like a salon cut right now.”
“I think I remember something in the report about it being stuck under the bus frame or something. The ambulance crew probably cut it on scene to extricate. I’m sure it will grow back, and that handsome husband of yours doesn’t seem to mind.” Dr. Fines flashed Adrianna a grin. She checked one of the machines positioned at the top of the bed. “You’re doing really well. I expect we’ll move you out of ICU tomorrow, then all of your adoring fans will be able to visit.”
Adrianna looked at the bower of flowers sitting on every visible surface in her room and smiled. “I seem to have quite a few friends. Too bad I don’t remember who any of them are.” She flashed the doctor a weak smile, trying not to let the reality unnerve her. She wasn’t sure if the doctor could tell she was smiling, what with most of her face still being covered in bandages.
The doctor laid a hand on Adrianna’s shoulder and looked her in the eye. “Give it time. In nearly every case like yours the memory returns after a while. Your husband plans to bring picture albums and tell you stories. I think he’ll arrange for every person you ever knew to come speak with you if necessary. You’re very lucky to have so many people who care about you. And honestly, you should not have survived that wreck. The EMTs thought you wouldn’t make it, but they took care of you anyway.”
Not completely sure she wanted the answer, Adrianna decided she had to know. “Someone mentioned it was a bus accident. Was anyone else badly hurt?”
“The couple in the SUV that hit you didn’t make it, and two women in the bus died as well. Many others were hospitalized, but most have been released.”
Adrianna nodded, but asked no more questions as the doctor completed her own questions, then continued on with her rounds.
*****
The mid-point of October had passed when Adrianna was released from the ICU and found herself in a regular hospital bed.
The woman who had been in her room when she had first awoken, her sister-in-law Megan, Adrianna reminded herself, popped into the room mid afternoon after Adrianna had been moved. “Hi, I was hoping you’d be awake. There’s so much to talk about.” She carried a large binder under one arm and a clear plastic container full of chocolate chip cookies. “Jacob said you asked who I am,” the woman continued without pausing for a response, her dark, pixie-cut hair flaring out around her face. “I wasn’t sure if you remembered waking up with me in the room, so I’m glad you did. You seemed a bit out of it, honestly.”
Megan pulled a chair next to the bed and settled the photo album on the rolling cart the nurses used to set her meals on. “I imagine you’ll want to look at some pictures of before, you know, in case they jog your memory. And even if they don’t, it doesn’t hurt to learn more about yourself, does it?” She popped open the package of cookies and looked at the curtained-off bed behind her. “Is there anyone in the other bed?”
“Yes, but the nurse said the woman is deaf and not to worry too much about noise. She had a friend come by earlier, but I never heard more than a giggle from them the whole time. It’s almost like having a private room.” Adrianna watched as Megan picked out a cookie for herself, then gestured to the package, as though to say she should help herself.
“Lucky you. When Mom had her hysterectomy a few years back, she got stuck with a crazy lady who made a fuss around the clock and had to be restrained. So, I haven’t exactly known you forever, but we’ve gotten to know each other a bit. I mean, I’d always wanted a sister, and we got on well enough, so I know a fair amount about you.
“Your parents were here for several days after the accident, but they couldn’t run the business from Olathe, so they had to go home. I spoke to them yesterday when we heard you were going to be moved and they said they’ll be here tomorrow to visit for a few days. They were frantic.”
“Where do they live now? Where did I grow up?”
“Alliance, Nebraska. It’s in the north-west corner so it’s a good ten-hour drive. You and Jacob went up for a visit just a few weeks ago so your parents could see Aiden.” Megan bit her lip, as if undecided about something, then nodded. “Things have been somewhat strained between you and your family since you joined the Church when you turned eighteen. But they were really worried about you, and I know your visit this summer really helped smooth out the rough edges, so I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you. Your sister Kelsey lives in New York City, where she’s trying to break into Broadway. She has your singing talent, and acts and dances too, though I don’t think she can play the piano worth spit compared to you.” She looked a bit wistful as she took another cookie. “I wish I had gotten some of those skills.”
“I’m sure you have plenty of your own.”
With a tip of the head and a frown, Megan nodded. “Such as they are. Now, look here, I have pictures of everyone from your wedding.” Dismissing the previous subject, she opened the photo album and began telling Adrianna about everyone in the pictures.
When she was allowed out of bed that evening to visit the bathroom instead of relying on a tube and bag, Adrianna spent several minutes in front of the mirror looking at her face—what she could see of it around the bandages that still swathed her nose and cheeks.
Her lower face and forehead were puffy and red and crossed with rows of stitches, even though it had now been two weeks since the accident. She thought of the ten days that she lay in the coma, how Jacob and his sister must have felt watching her, unsure if she would wake, seeing her battered body slowly healing. It scared her to look at the unrecognizable face in the mirror even now when the swelling had gone down so much.
How could she look herself in the mirror and not know her own face? She had looked at smiling pictures of herself at her wedding, hand in hand with Jacob, kissing him, holding their baby the day Aiden was born, helping their son open his birthday presents a few weeks earlier, but none of them were familiar. There wasn’t the slightest tingling of returning memory.
She touched the lines of stitches on her face and wondered if she would ever remember.
*****
When she returned to her room, Jacob was sitting in the chair beside her bed. “You’re up and about. It’s good to see you looking so well.” He stood and walked over, taking her hands in his. He leaned in to kiss her, and she gave him her cheek instead.
Personally, Adrianna thought she looked positively awful, but she wasn’t about to correct him. She glanced at him after he released her, and couldn’t miss the disappointed look on his face. “Finish up at work for the day?” She lowered herself carefully onto the bed. Her whole body was exhausted from the effort of walking across the room to the bath and back. Megan’s vivacity had been exhausting as well, though Adrianna had the suspicion that the woman would be a lot of fun when she was healthy.
“Yeah, Gavin let me go after I checked on the sites we’ve been working on. Tomorrow I plan to bring Aiden along. He’s through his cold so the doctor said it’s safe.”
He looked so excited at the prospect of bringing her child to her, she didn’t want to disappoint him, but she was concerned. “I’m not sure if that’s wise. I mean, look at me.” She gestured to the bandages on her face. “I’ll probably scare him.”
He reached out and rubbed his thumb along her jaw in a slow sweep. “He’ll know you though, and he’s missed you so much. Don’t tell me you don’t want to see him, he’s been asking after you.”
She smiled and thought of holding the sweet-faced toddler she had seen in so many pictures over the past few days. “I can’t wait to meet him.” She paused when she saw a pained look cross his face, then berated herself. “I mean, I know I’ve spent plenty of time with him before, but it’s like meeting him all over again. You know?”
This chapter wonsecond place in the 2008 first chapter contest hosted by LDS Storymakers for the Romance competition.
